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Between work and play I do a fair amount of jetsetting.

So I wouldn't consider myself a super frequent traveler, but between work and play I do a fair amount of jetsetting.

There are few things that irritate me as much as those parents on the security line who are dizzy and are making every one of us, lose our lounge and duty free opportunities because they didn't spill out little Timmy's box drink when only a thousand times before the lady with the long nails reminded you:

" You All! need to remember, no liquids, no laptops, no switch blades "

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And you know there are few people on this planet who take there jobs as seriously as the highly skilled, always courteous, insanely professionals of the TRANSPORTATION SAFETY ADMINISTRATION! Just a thought if the NYPD is New Yorks finest and BPD are Bostons Finest does that make the TSA "the worlds finest"?

Now I can say with total confidence that there are in fact airports, outside of NY, that actually have SOME semblance of normalcy

Anyways I always find it incredibly funny as well as exceptionally frustrating those people who always seem " surprised " when they walk through the X-ray with something in their pocket and then feel the need to negotiate their logic with said skilled TSA Agent.

This discussion usually requires intervention by the super intelligent " Supervisor " and while they try to hash out (pun intended) whether or not the substance in the mans pocket is acceptable for air travel, the rest of us stand with laptop in hand waiting for that conveyor belt which has got to be set to "super slow", and while I'm on the topic it always amazes me how they feel the need to " pat down" a six year old or do their detailed "bag check" because their cunning eyes caught some perpetrator attempting to breach security with a baby bottle full of breast milk, but yet everyday a knife or a blade slips through.

So after the always entertaining trip passed the ever exciting " Cirque De Security ". Its time to make our way to the gate.

The gate always intrigues me because it seems to be the place where most people think it is a flea market of some kind. They wait ever so optimistically thinking they are going to get that miraculous last minute seat upgrade and of course you have those people who claim their outlet 2 hours before the flight and have every apple product known to man plugged in to it, carefully guarding it to make sure no one attempts to slip a charge passed them.

Of course the process in which they board the planes is always a trip itself as there is always a blatant disregard for the poor shmuck making the announcements. Basically it is assumed that his repeated announcements as to which part of the plane boards when, are suggestions rather than instructions. People seem to think that seats are first come first serve and therefore need to be up and online from the minute that first announcement is made. Except of course for the super chargers who need to maintain their position till the very last second to ensure they ave maximum battery capacity.

Finally! It's time to board the plane!

Have you ever realized that there are a standard cast of characters on every flight.

1) The Coughing Guy this is the guy who usually sits behind me coughing his lungs out and of course I spend the entire flight thinking he is getting his cough and diseases on me

2) The Pacing Lady The Pacer spends the whole flight circling the plane, almost precisely timing her paces to arrive at my seat EVERY time I close my eyes.

3) The Urinator the urinator is the guy who feels the need to pee every 11 minutes or anytime he sees the green "VACANT" light pop on

4) The Organizer he only goes on international flights as he is in charge of the on plane minyan. His job is to ensure that every time you get a little comfortable he guilts you into another minyan!

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Posted in Outdoor Activities Post Date 05/05/2018







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